How to Win Friends and Influence People

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you” – DALE CARNEGIE

Written in 1936, Dale Carnegie’s masterpiece “How to Win Friends and Influence People” continues to inspire people all around the world till date. Faded neither in its fame nor relevance, this book enjoys a universal appeal due to its sheer practicality and optimistic approach towards the agenda of influencing people. Let’s get to know what actually makes you win friends with this book at the backdrop.

To win friends you will have to shed your habit of complaining, criticizing, and condemning people. Under any given circumstances, direct negative hurtful responses only turns people against each other. Such behavior causes a crack in the very foundation of the equation between two people, reducing the possibilities of forming new friendships.

Another significant gesture that will help you win friends and influence people is a genuine appreciation of the other person’s efforts. If you notice people’s smallest efforts or talents, people will notice you too. Be genuine and real in your compliments because this will get you a place in their hearts for a long time.

RAISE YOUR LIKEABILITY!

  • SMILE: “A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside” (Denis Waitley). A heartwarming smile is the best ornament one can adorn to melt the ice and form new equations. People who smile often, have more chances of winning more friends as a smile gives them an approachable and friendly persona.
  • USE A PERSON’S NAME OFTEN: In Dale Carnegie’s own words “a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language”. Hence using a person’s name in a conversation will definitely put you at advantage of winning over their trust in you.
  • BE A GOOD LISTENER: “One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say” (Bryant H. McGrill). In order to increase your likeability you will have to show a genuine interest in people and the best way to do this is to simply listen to what they say.
  • MAKE PEOPLE FEEL IMPORTANT: This is one effective way of increasing your likeability factor with people. People feel confident when someone notices and points out their accomplishments or talks about matters of their personal interests.

THINGS TO REMEMBER

  • A MATTER OF POINT OF VIEW: Step into the other person’s shoes and understand his/her point of view. Sometimes due to our mind’s conditioning we are unable to go out of our own psychological state and are unable to comprehend the other person’s perspective. If you try to interpret the actions of others by getting into their mind space, it will definitely help you to form a strong bond with them.
  • NO ARGUMENTS PLEASE: Avoid arguments at any cost, because arguments will kill the very chances of forming positive equations with the person on the other side. Arguments are always followed by a tense vibe between two people. How can you get to make people like you if all you have is negativity around you? Try to sort out your differences with people with utmost dignity and sophistication without demeaning the other party. Your ability to handle the situation and settling on an agreement will garner you with a respectable and likeable persona.
  • TRANSPARENCY: Admit when you are wrong. We all tend to make mistakes, and admitting them will only help you to connect with people on a deeper level. Honesty and transparency including admitting your faults will surely make you worthy of winning the trust of more and more people.
  • AVOID BACK BITING: Don’t talk badly about people behind their back. Talking negatively about people in their absence might put you in a tricky situation. You should genuinely avoid double standard talks, if you wish to be in the good books of people.

 

Basically, likeability comes down to creating positive emotional experiences in others,…When you make others feel good, they tend to gravitate you –

Tim Sanders